Feeling Guilty You Didn't Relish The Baby And Toddler Years?

As a mother of two, I distinctly remember the moment when I was holding my newborn daughter for the very first time. While I had expected to feel an overwhelming rush of love and excitement, what I actually felt was sheer terror and anxiety.

As I struggled to breastfeed and battled postpartum depression, guilt consumed me. I kept telling myself that I should be enjoying every moment of the baby and toddler years, that these are the years that go by so quickly and that I should make the most of them.

Quantifiable Examples

• According to a study by the National Institute of Mental Health, up to 20% of new mothers experience postpartum depression.
• Research also shows that new mothers experience a sharp decline in their mental health for the first few years after having a baby.
• In a survey by the parenting website, BabyCentre, only 6% of mothers said they enjoyed every moment of their baby's first year.

Why It's Okay

The truth is, the baby and toddler years can be incredibly challenging and overwhelming. As a new mother, you are adjusting to a new identity, dealing with sleep deprivation, hormonal changes, and a million other things that come with caring for a new life. It's okay not to enjoy every moment.

How to Move Forward

If you're feeling guilty about not enjoying the baby and toddler years, here are three things you can do to move forward:

1. Don't beat yourself up. Recognize that it's okay not to enjoy every moment of motherhood. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and process them in a healthy way.
2. Focus on the present. It's easy to get caught up in the past and worry about what you missed. Instead, focus on the present moment and enjoy the time you have with your child now.
3. Find support. Don't be afraid to reach out to other mothers who may be feeling the same way. Join a support group or seek professional help if needed.

Remember, you are doing the best you can as a mother. You are not alone in your struggles and it's okay to ask for help.

Personal Anecdote

When my daughter was three years old, I found myself feeling guilty about not having enjoyed the baby years and wishing I had done things differently. I reached out to a friend who is also a mother and shared my feelings with her. She told me that she had also struggled with the baby and toddler years and that it was okay. Her support and understanding helped me feel less alone and more capable of moving forward.

Practical Tips

• Take breaks when you need them. It's okay to ask for help and take time for yourself.
• Focus on the positives. Try to find joy in the small moments and accomplishments, even if they seem insignificant.
• Celebrate your wins. Recognize and celebrate your successes as a mother, no matter how small they may seem.