How a Spreadsheet Helped Me Find Love

Have you ever felt like you're not making progress towards your romantic goals? For me, online dating felt like throwing spaghetti at a wall, hoping something would stick. I'd spend hours swiping and messaging, but it felt like I was getting nowhere. That's when I decided to try something different - a spreadsheet.

Before you roll your eyes, hear me out. I'm all for spontaneity and chemistry, but when it wasn't working for me, I needed a new approach. I created a simple spreadsheet to track my online dating activity. It was nothing fancy, just a few columns to help me keep track of who I'd contacted and when. I also added a notes section where I could jot down specific details about their profile or our conversation.

At first, it felt a bit clinical. But once I got into the groove of tracking my activity, something unexpected happened. I started noticing patterns. I saw which messages resulted in responses. I saw which profiles grabbed my attention. I saw which dates led to second dates. Suddenly, I had quantitative data to work with, instead of just my gut feelings.

Here are some examples of how my spreadsheet helped me:

• A/B Testing: By tracking which messages received responses, I was able to iterate and improve my approach. For example, I noticed that messages with specific, personalized questions tended to get a better response rate than generic "Hey, what's up?" messages.
• Profile Improvement: By tracking which profiles caught my eye, I was able to identify trends and make changes to my own profile. For example, I realized I was drawn to profiles with a sense of humor and a sense of adventure. So, I made sure to inject more humor into my profile and showcase my own interests and hobbies.
• Date Selection: By tracking which dates led to second dates, I was able to analyze what made those dates successful. For example, I realized that the nights that went best were the ones where we did something active - like mini-golf or bowling - instead of just sitting across from each other at a restaurant.

Conclusion

So, did my spreadsheet help me find love? In a way, yes. While I don't believe in a "one size fits all" approach to dating, having quantitative data helped me refine my approach and identify what was important to me. Here are my top three takeaways:

1. Data is Your Friend: Don't discount the power of tracking your activity and analyzing the results. It can give you valuable insights and help you adjust your approach.
2. Be Authentic: While tracking your activity is helpful, don't let it overshadow the importance of being yourself. Don't try to fit into a mold just because it seems like it's working for others.
3. Keep an Open Mind: At the end of the day, finding love is about more than just checking boxes on a spreadsheet. Be open to unexpected connections and be willing to take a chance on someone who doesn't fit your "ideal" profile.