Parenting Styles That Work

A Tale of Two Parents

Jenny and Mike were first-time parents to their four-year-old daughter, Grace. They had different parenting styles - Jenny was a strict disciplinarian while Mike was more laid-back and playful with their daughter.

One day, Grace came home from school with a bad report from her teacher. She had disrupted class and talked back to the teacher. When Jenny found out, she immediately scolded her daughter and sent her to her room. Mike, on the other hand, tried to understand why she acted that way and talked to her about what she was feeling.

After a few hours, Grace came out of her room and went to her dad. She explained that one of her classmates had been teasing her and that's why she acted out. Mike listened to his daughter and comforted her, while at the same time, explaining that her behavior was still not acceptable.

From that incident, Jenny and Mike learned that there are different approaches to parenting, and that a combination of both their styles could be effective.

Effective Parenting Styles

• Authoritative parenting: Children raised by authoritative parents tend to have better social skills, better academic performance, and lower risk behavior, according to a study by Steinberg et al. (1994). Authoritative parents establish clear boundaries and rules but are also responsive to their children's needs and feelings. They explain why the rules are important and involve their children in decision-making, promoting independence and responsibility.
• Positive reinforcement: Praising and rewarding positive behavior promotes self-esteem and encourages children to continue that behavior. According to a study by Henderlong and Lepper (2002), positive reinforcement was more effective than punishment in changing behavior. When parents focus on what their children are doing right instead of what they're doing wrong, it helps build a strong parent-child relationship and a sense of security.
• Consistency: Children thrive on routine and consistency, especially when it comes to rules and consequences. Inconsistent parenting leads to confusion and uncertainty, and children may test boundaries more to figure out what they can get away with. According to a study by Forehand and Long (1988), consistency in discipline was associated with better behavioral outcomes for children. When parents are consistent with consequences for both positive and negative behavior, it helps children understand what is expected of them.

Conclusion: 3 Points for Effective Parenting

1. Establish clear expectations and boundaries, but be flexible and responsive to your children's needs and feelings.
2. Focus on positive reinforcement and praise for good behavior, and try to avoid punishment.
3. Be consistent with rules and consequences, and create a routine that promotes stability and security for your children.

Every child and family is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Effective parenting styles involve finding a balance between discipline and encouragement and being responsive to your children's unique needs.